Miserable At Best: A Drarry Love Story
by shadyNCYDE
Summary: This is a very teen-angsty story about Draco Malfoy's struggle with being in love with Harry Potter.
1. Chapter 1

_I don't think I can do this anymore,_ Draco thought as he walk alone towards the Great Hall. He paused outside of the large doors, leaning against the stone wall._ I just need to stop thinking about him… But, I just… I just can't. _

Gripping the handle, he thought, _Maybe he wont be there. It will be easier to stop thinking if he isn't there_. Weakly, without looking up, Draco shoved open the doors.

He took a step forward, lifting his head. The first thing he saw pushed him over the edge. Standing next to the table with the other Gryffindors, was Harry, holding Ginny's hand as she leaned up against him.

Harry glanced up, hearing the doors open. As he looked at Draco his eyes widened. He let go of Ginny and began to speak. Draco burst into tears and ran before he could hear what he had said. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he had get away. Get away from Harry. Get away from Hogwarts. Get away from everything.

He sped through winding hall ways and up moving staircases before he found himself in the prefect's washroom. Draco quit running and stood, shaking, in front of one of the sinks. He tore off his tie and began wiping the tears from his cheeks, but they just kept coming. He threw the tie onto the ground and turned on the tap.

As he splashed his face with warm water, Draco began to think. _What am I going to do? I can't even look at him without breaking down. _He turn off the water. "Why? Why?" he said, growing gradually louder as the tears began to pour down once again, "Why can't I just… Why can't I just love someone else? Like-like a fucking girl!"

He collapsed onto the tiled floor as he choked out those last words. He shoved his hands in his pockets and pulled out his wand. As he turned it around in his hands he began to think, _I wonder what I could do with this… Could I..? _He took the wand into one off his hands and pointed it at his other wrist.

While beginning to mutter a spell he heard footsteps. He stopped what he was doing as the footsteps stopped. His eyes darted to the door. It was Harry. Draco jumped to his feet, holding his wand in front of him.

Harry slowly brought out his wand as he spoke, "Draco, I'm so sorry. What-what's-"

"Shut up, Harry," Draco spat out, "I don't need your pity. Just-just get out." Once again, the tears began to flow.

Harry started to move closer. "Draco, you need-"

"I don't need anything! I told you to get out!" Draco rose his wand higher and sputtered "Ex-Expelliarmus!" Harry's wand flew out of his hand and into Draco's.

"Draco, please, just-"

Draco wasn't listening. He couldn't concentrate, the blood was pounding in his ears as he rushed pasted the toilets, towards the other sinks. As he ran, he slipped in a large puddle of water on the ground. He slammed to the floor with a shriek. He could feel something taring in his leg.

He lied there, in pain, mind racing, as his leg oozed blood. _I can't live like this anymore. The pain of living without him is worse than this horrid pain in my leg, or the pain it would give to end it all._ He whipped his wand out again as Harry ran in.

Everything appeared to be going in slow motion. Draco pointed his wand at his wrist, bursting with tears and sever pain. He began to mutter "Sectum Sempra" when Harry leaped at him, yelling for him to stop. Harry crying and screaming was the last thing Draco remembered before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

"Is Draco awake yet?" Harry asked Madam Pomfrey for about the thousandth time that week since Draco had fell unconcious.

"Yes," she responded, "but I'm not sure if he really wants to talk to anyone right now. He hasn't said a word all day. Won't even look at me."

"I don't mind. Can I see him anyway?"

Madam Pomfrey opened the doors and Harry stepped in. He stood at the doors for a moment before walking up and sitting down next to Draco. Draco was staring blankly at the wall oppisite him, and didn't break the gaze as Harry took a seat.

"Hello, Draco," Harry began. He didn't budge, so Harry continued, "Are you feeling any better?"

Still nothing. Harry was beginning to feel worried. "Draco, please answer me," he said with a quiver as he placed his hands around Draco's.

Draco flinched and quickly darted his head to look at their hands. Harry pulled away his hands.

"I'm sorry, that didn't hurt, did it?" Harry questioned, cautiously.

Draco sighed, "No, it was just... shocking."

"Okay," Harry said as he placed back one of his hands. "So, how are you?"

He snorted. "Fucking wonderful, Potter. I've just been having the time of my life lately. You couldn't tell?"

"Draco," He said sternly, " would you just be straight with me, please?"

"Sorry, I'm an idiot," Draco paused for a few seconds. "You know what? You want to know how I feel? Everyone in this entire school hates me, including myself.-"

"Draco, I don't-"

"Harry," Draco looked up and into Harry's eyes, "I love you. I love you more than anything else in this world. I need more from you than just 'I don't hate you'. You don't understand how much it kills me that that's all it really is for you. I _need_ you, Harry."

"But, it is more than that. I much more than just don't hate you. I have feelings for you, too. It's... It's just..."

"It's just that you love Ginny more."

"No, that's not-"

"No, no. I get it. She's pretty. All of your other friends don't hate her. She's capable of accomplishing things without making a fool out of herself. She's a _girl_. I don't blame you for not wanting this miserable excuse for a human being, when you could have much better."

"I really wish you would stop saying all of these horrible and untrue things about yourself."

"I really wish you would quit pretending that you cared about me. I know that you don't. I know that nobody doe-"

Draco was cut short as Harry grabbed his face and leaned in. As their lips met, Draco's mind went blank. Every ounce of angry, depressed feeling he had for himself was wipped away. All he could think was how beautiful and right it felt to be kissing him. He cluched onto the back of Harry's shirt with his good arm, never wanting to let go, wanting this moment to last forever.

Harry stopped and leaned over to whisper in Draco's ear, "Do you believe me now?"

"Harry," Draco whispered back as cohearent thoughts began to form again, "you need to make up your mind."

Harry sat back down in the chair, looking puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Do you want to be with me, or Ginny?"

"Draco, I-"

"Give me a straight answer, Harry. Because, no matter how much I love you, how much I _need _you, and no matter how much I _hate_ that girl, you shouldn't be cheating."

Harry sat there for a moment, thinking. "You're right, I shouldn't cheat on Ginny." Another pause. "I really, _really_ love you Draco. But, right now, I think what I need is... Is to be with Ginny. But, when that's over, I'm going to go straight to you."

Draco sighed, "Okay. But, how do you know you and Ginny are ever going to break up?"

"Don't worry about it. I promise, I'm going to come back for you," Harry began as he once again reached for Draco's hands.. "I love you so much Draco. So, I need you to promise me something, too."

"What?" Draco questioned, looking Harry in the eyes.

"You have to promise me you won't hurt yourself again." Harry said with large concern spread across his face.

Draco took in a deep breath, and let it out. "I promise."

"Okay," Harry said with hesitance, " so, do you know when your parents are coming in?"

"They wrote me. Neither of them have any oppurtunity until the winter holiday. So, I guess they're coming next week. But, whatever. I don't really mind."

"Well, that's good," Harry said. Just as he finished, Madam Pomfrey trotted in.

"I think you have had quite enough time talking to him, he needs to rest. Now, Harry, you get back to class." She shooed Harry out the door and grabbed medicince for Draco. "You take this, and you should be getting some more rest, lean back." Draco chocked it down as he stared at the door and kept on hoping Harry would come back in.


End file.
